As I write this, Poppy is romping around on the floor in front of me, draining milk out of a purple sippy cup.

Exactly a year ago, it was the day before my due date and I was passing the time by organizing pictures on Google Drive and wandering through Target, wondering if our first baby girl would arrive soon or if there would be a little while longer with the two of us. I wondered long my birth would be (24ish hours, not counting the weeks of prodromal labor), if it was for sure a girl (lol four ultrasounds in and I still wondered), and if her hair would be red (it WAS!). I wondered how she would sleep (like a dream for the first six months!!) and how I would deal with the pain of giving birth (two failed and one successful epidurals later, I immediately said I would do it all again).

I can’t believe it’s been a year.

I debated about how to structure this post! Things I’ve learned? Reflections on the first year as a mom who works from home? Fun things about Poppy? As much as I adore my baby girl and love talking about her, I don’t really want to spread every detail about her little life on the internet… so I decided to just do a list of things that I’ve loved about her first year.

#1. Knowing we are making some of the sweetest memories of our lives.

This feeling has been so clear that I can almost reach out and touch it, ever since the first moment she was born. Every day with her, even the hard ones, feels acutely like THIS IS PRECIOUS, DON’T MISS IT. I know without a single doubt that I will miss these days, and even though I sometimes cry thinking about it… I also LOVE knowing I’m living some of the best days.

#2. Having a little buddy with me everywhere I go.

It’s so fun to have a little friend!! Of course I crave alone time, more some days than others. But it’s also funny and companion-y and lovely to have another person with me at (almost) all times. I’ve always been the “running to Target, want to come?” kind of friend and I love having someone that always will run to Target with me. (Although obviously I would be even happier if you came along too. And also obviously my ultimate break is making a Target run by myself hehe.)

#3. Watching her grow and learn.

It is unreal to reflect back on how much has changed in just ONE year. A year ago, she was totally dependent on us. All she could do was cry to let us know what she needed. Now, she can walk around, get herself toys and drinks and snacks (if they’re on her level), and put her own pacifier back into her mouth. She can say words, point to things, and laugh when she likes something. And we got to WATCH all of that develop in her little self! Every week, it seems like, she’s doing something new, and it’s just the biggest joy to watch.

#4. Having something to ground me in the present moment.

I posted about this in more detail a few months ago. The short version, though, is that as person who tends to be thinking about either the past or the future, it’s been so grounding to have someone who is here with me NOW with all her immediate demands. If I’m sad or happy or grumpy, I still have to take care of my baby. It often helps me snap out of whatever my mind wants to obsess over and focus on just the tasks and care in front of me.

#5. Getting to know a whole new person.

It has been wild to me to recognize how she has so clearly had her own preferences and personality from day one. When she was born, she cried just a little bit and then just laid quietly on my chest blinking at the world with her bright eyes. She’s still so curious and observant. She is empathetic and outgoing and loves a good time. She has a great sense of humor (but only laughs at REALLY good jokes. ;)) And how?! I’m sure we’ve taught her some of it, but also she surprises us! It’s amazing to get to know who Poppy is and what she is like. I can’t wait to keep doing that for her whole life.

#6. Reordering my priorities.

This one is the most stereotypical, right? But it doesn’t stop it from being true. I don’t have time to waste time, and so I can only focus on what is most important. This means I almost always wash my hair absolutely first thing in the shower (because everything else I can do later or in smaller bits 😅), and I’m so much better at prioritizing to-do lists… but also I think more about what I want for our whole family for our long-term, and my decisions have a different lens. This reorienting was needed, and I’m grateful.

#7. Having a miracle in front of my eyes every day.

Marshall and I look at each other so often and say “Can you believe we MADE her??” But of course it wasn’t just us. Life so clearly is outside of our grasp and control, and can only be a miraculous gift from God. Her laughing, “What’s that”-ing, animal-loving, breathing little self is a miracle of miracles. Jesus was so kind to give us a love like this.