I have a clear memory of a vague feeling.

Vague in that it’s not quite pin-down-able.

Can’t quite tell where it comes from or starts and stops.

It doesn’t belong to a particular place or time, really.

It’s just incredibly uncomfortable and way too familiar.

It sounds sort of like this: “Will people see through me? How do I know what to do next? Won’t they think I’m silly?”

I wish I could say I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin, but I haven’t.

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Something I’ve learned about true hospitality is that it usually involves forgetting yourself. I’ve been hosted in many beautiful places by so many beautiful people, and the times I remember most clearly are the ones where are I felt seen and cared about and not like the host or hostess was obsessed with themselves.

I’ve learned that true hospitality is letting your own insecurities go so you can focus on the people in front of you.

I’ve learned that if your guests only experience you apologizing, stumbling over yourself, not giving them clear directions because you’re distracted thinking about how you’re coming across… they probably won’t feel very welcomed or wanted.

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Something I’ve learned about those of us who feel a little cringe about marketing is that we reallyyyy don’t want to come off wrong.

It’s lovely to want to communicate from our Actual Hearts and it’s lovely to want to not accidentally communicate something that isn’t true. But the PROBLEM is that the fear of communicating wrong in our brands can just mean…lots of overanalyzing. And lots of overanalyzing often leads to you focusing more on how you are feeling than how your people are feeling. And focusing primarily on yourself (with everyone else as an afterthought) can really quickly lead to your people feeling not very welcome in your space.

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If you aren’t comfortable in your own “skin” of the brand you have built, you will almost certainly be thinking more about what you’re sounding like, if people liked that offer you sent them, if that Instagram post was cute enough or made enough sense or was trendy enough… INSTEAD OF thinking about if you are serving them as well as you can and being a gracious host.

Being welcoming starts with being comfortable.

So WHAT SHOULD YOU DO if you don’t feel comfortable in your brand?! I think there are endless ways to start the process of being at ease, but I have a few suggestions for you:

Spend intentional time thinking about what you care about and want to embody.

What do you want your client experiences to feel like? Ask yourself how you can best care for your clients. Just as you would if you were hosting friends overnight, anticipate what they will need, any problems that might come up, and have a plan for them.

Don’t try to be mysterious.

I’m not sure exactly where all I picked up the concept of being elusive and interesting, the TDS (Tall Dark Stranger)* version of marketing, but it crippled me for a few years in my business. I thought it was bad business practice to talk about my behind the scenes things or be too honest with my clients or in my marketing. Not that I was DIShonest at all, but I didn’t feel like I could be open and real. That resulted in me feeling guarded most of the time. Not exactly the way to make someone feel welcome.

Say (OUT LOUD) what you do and what your guests can expect.

This goes right along with “Don’t try to be mysterious,” but I think so often even if we aren’t trying to be cool and mysterious it’s easy to never be exactly forthright, either. What does your business offer to people? Where can they get it? How can they find out more about it? What do you want their feedback on? Tell them!

If you don’t like something, begin the process of changing it.

I would say “just change it,” except I know that nothing happens overnight. But what would you do if you didn’t like something about your home or the way you were hosting? Sure, the structure of a room or some of your favorite-but-outdated decor might not change instantly once you decide something needs to shift, but beginning the process starts the chain of change. If your brand feels off to you, or if you are finding yourself uncomfortable in this thing you’ve built, start working toward change.

Being welcoming starts with being comfortable.

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If you need help getting comfortable in your brand / aka nailing down what your brand is about and saying it out loud, that’s what I do!! Click here to get in touch about my brand messaging and copywriting offers.

*Maud Hart Lovelace fans know